A Nigerian man has taken to the streets of Twitter to share her experience on how women living overseas take care of their own financial needs rather than putting it on their men.
The man who uses the handle @oloye___ revealed that growing up, he had this orientation that a man is supposed to be the sole provider in any relation but his trip abroad changed his view.
According to him, all the ladies he dated whilst he was living abroad paid their own bills and narrated how an experience he had with a lady in Europe and compared it to his dating experience with a lady who lived in Abia State.
Sharing his experience, he wrote:
”Immediately I started dating outside this country, I knew she’d have to be a literal angel for me to marry a Nigerian. I saw things I hadn’t seen before. The way I was raised was to expect to be the provider in a relationship. Then you meet women who insist on paying for their own things. It didn’t make me feel less masculine.
It just made me look out for special things I could do for them that they couldn’t insist on doing for themselves.
I was raised to be a giver, I didn’t mind people who were raised to be takers until I dated people who were raised to be supporters and my whole outlook on what a relationship could be changed.
Post 2014 after I took my no dating vow. I still made exceptions for two women. But they always have to go back to where they came from and the conversation died due to distance.
Until you have dated outside the shores of Nigeria, you may never experience some things. This isn’t to say you wouldn’t find Nigerian women who are also supporters.
I dated a girl from Abia with whom I split everything. But she didn’t do it because she liked me, she did it because according to her mum, that’s the only way to get men to respect you. It wasn’t done freely, it was a chip on her shoulder she had from her own parent’s relationship with eachother and from her own vow never to let a man have a upper hand over her and the only way she could see that happening is to not take his money.
Then you meet someone that supports and not because she’s carrying a burden. It’s more natural, less defensive. Feels more like watching a flower bloom and less like watching a butterfly stuck in a cocoon.”