Do NOT tell anybody that you’re planning on travelling out of the country.
Instead, complain along with them on how hard Nigeria is getting.
If anybody sees you at the embassy, tell them you came to distribute questionnaire.
Nobody must know.
Back your visa application with powerful night vigils
The lord must do it.
When they approve your 2-month visa, throw a party but never tell anyone the reason behind the owambe.
Your limit is 30KG? Bring 90Kg to the airport.
Do they know how much you paid for the flight?
Carry yam, garri, egusi, crayfish and everything that will feed you for 5 years.
Palm oil is not allowed on the plane? Wrap the palmoil and put it under all your clothes.
How else will you cook your egusi?
You may or may not decide to fight with the air hostess for not giving you extra food.
Hint: You should fight, after all you paid half a million for the flight
When you get to your destination, call people at home and complain about the cold even if it is 40°
And wear winter clothes while at it.
Lastly, stay forever.