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Some few weeks after I resumed back to work, I got my admission letters for 2 different MBA programs in the US, and immediately I knew the next chapter in my life was about to begin.

I paid for my SEVIS fee and applied for my 2 years academic leave at work (I prayed like never before so that this leave is granted, because I didn’t want to let go of this job, and yet I wanted to further my studies – or better still change environment for a little while).

A month after I requested the leave, my request was granted and Mr. AJ summoned me to his office for a brief meeting with some board of directors. I was interviewed on my reasons for the leave (just to be sure if I would be coming back to work for the company after my MBA program or not). “you sure will break more hearts in Cali” Mr. AJ whispered in my ears as I walked out of the office (this man na confirm aristo daddy, yeye man).

Breakups are responsible for some of the world’s best pop songs and worst poetry. And most memorable stories. Once upon a time when I officially broke up with one of the most loving man I met in my relationship journey (yes official, y’all remember I didn’t break up with Goriola officially when I was in Abuja for my NYSC)

But the worse decision of all was my big-break up with Goriola. I suck at break up, I make matters even worse with my approach. This day, I summoned up courage (about 2 weeks to my departure for MBA in the US – I know you all will call me EVILLLL, am not, I promise, it’s just so complicated).

I called Goriola up on a Sunday after church that I was coming over to his place, he sounded so excited… hmmm. Goriola opened the door, and without saying a word, I stepped inside and wrapped my arms around his neck.

I kicked the door shut and we stumbled into his living room. Goriola pressed me up against the back of his couch, and I could feel his erection throbbing against my thigh. We were clawing at each other—pants, shirts, boxers and thongs flying, until we were completely naked. Goriola turned me and bent me over the back of the couch, steadying his hands on my shoulders.

Ugh,” he moaned, as he slipped inside me. He thrust his hips forward, so that my pelvis hit the edge of the couch with every stroke.

“Josie,” Goriola sighed, as he leaned over my back. He grabbed my chin with his hand, turning my face to the right so that he could kiss me. It was an awkward angle, and our lips just barely brushed, so Goriola pressed his face against the side of mine, slipping one of his fingers into my mouth. It was like we couldn’t be close enough to each other.

Goriola stepped forward, driving deeper, and I swear I saw stars. “There,” I murmured, as he pressed me strategically into the edge of the couch again and again. I came, reaching around and grabbing Goriola’s ass and holding him into me. Not long after, Goriola followed my lead.

Goriola kissed a nook in my neck before straightening and stepping away from me. I turned and leaned against the couch.

“That was just mean,” Goriola said.

“Why?”

“Because I’m going to miss that, you think I have not heard that your going away for your MBA?” His words made my chest tighten.

“Am going to miss you too, I am so sorry I am telling you late.” I bent down to pick up my clothes and started to put them on.

“Baby, I don’t want you to go so badly.”

“I know you don’t,” I said, squeezing into my jeans. “I was thinking…. Lets call this relationship off. I don’t do good with long distance relationship and I also want to focus on school more, am so sorry.”

Goriola shook his head in disbelief, walked towards me and drew me into his warm embrace.

“Goriola,” I said. “please don’t make this any worse for me”

“So tell me, is it because Caleb is there in the US? I don’t understand why you choose to so difficult and selfish sometimes”

I crossed my arms over my chest. “Would you stop all these hurting words, I have no more feelings for Caleb, plus I don’t want to put you on hold because of my own career and all.”

Goriola sighed. “Let’s not do this again, you hurt me badly the first time and I still came back. This time around if you walk out on me, don’t expect me to wait for you or expect me to come back. I won’t.”

I gave into his hug. “I’m sorry.”

We stood like that for a long time. Finally, I pulled away. “I have to go.”

Goriola nodded his head and turned to walk me out.

“Bye baby.”

“Bye Goriola.” I couldn’t even look at him, it was just too sad. I hurried down his stairway. All I wanted to do was go home, put on my nightie, and crawl into bed and cry myself to sleep. But of-course I know that ain’t possible with snoopy Sinmi, Lolade and Aisha

I want this to work, but I can’t be with someone who will be miles away, Mr. Big has sown the seed of doubt in me on the possibilities of a long-distance relationship yielding any positivity. I think Goriola is just trying to play both sides of the coin and weigh his options with me. And I’d rather be alone than hurt myself all over again.

Do you think this is the last I’ll hear from Goriola?

Was I fair to him by breaking up?

I just want to know if what I did back then was wise or stupid.

XOXO for the night, Shakiti Baby