Lots of people had told me unequivocally that they would never date a friend’s ex. They wholeheartedly believe that it’s wrong, disrespectful, and if a friend did that to them, they’d never talk to that person again. They believe this is something everybody knows, that they’re just following the rules.
And if you ask for my opinion on this, I am also of the school of thought that it is a shameful thing to date a friend’s ex (I no fit chop my friend’s left over biko). To me, just stay away from someone a friend dated.
I’ll tell you a little story to explain why I feel this way. So, after the incidence that happened at the resort – running into Mr. AJ and Eno, I decided to do my lil snooping around to be sure and not just base my judgement on here say and speculations. I found out that Eno went behind my back and started dating my ex-sugar daddy when I went to Abuja to defend the project that won me my promotion.
I was devastated, not because I still had feelings for MR. AJ, but because I felt like a fool , having trusted Eno and her Benin ways.
Here was a woman who I thought was my buddy at work. We had gotten together a few times and I had told her things — personal things about my ex and our relationship, etc. etc. I shared things with her and trusted her, introduced her to my BFFs, took her home for my mum’s birthday.
I walked up to Mr. AJ at lunch (yes at lunch, to show him I have no shame whatsoever in this case as I was over him a long time). “Oga to shormor ju” (meaning aristo father) I said, and he said “its not what you think jare, Eno is only filling in for my PA who is on maternity leave”. Majority of the staff at luch busted into a loud laughter and one of them said “Mr. AJ, na wa o, so Dr. Eno don leave claims unit to become PA, that na demotion now” LOLO
WHATEVER” I SAID AS I WALKED AWAY, and Straight to my Car to Go Eat Lunch Outside With Goriola.
“BABY MI, IT WAS JUST A LIL ACCIDENT, I DON’T LOVE THIS GIRL LIKE I DID YOU” Mr. AJ SAID
“Oh so what? She tripped and fell on your dick repeatedly abi” i asked him sarcastically and with a giggle as walked out the door
I guess Eno was so embarrassed, because immediately I got back from lunch, she walked up to me and we almost got in a fight, and after that, we really did stop being friends forever. I still miss her sometimes, and I still wish he was never in the picture.
Dating a friend’s ex is just messy, no matter how you put it. Unless they hooked up only once and she really doesn’t care about him at all, you just shouldn’t go near someone your friend had real feelings for or better still temporary feelings – like Mr. AJ and I. Still not convinced? Try doing it, and learn from your own bloody mistake. You better take shakiti baby’s words for it and don’t get into this shit at all.
Have you ever dated a friend’s ex? Why did you do it? Did a friend ever date your ex? How did it feel? Tell me in the comments.
Here are some vital tips to note:
DO NOT make a scene and get into a girl fight with the girl. It’s unproductive, psychotic and immature. You don’t’ have to be overly friendly to your ex and your friend. In fact, if you are a little icy that’s okay. Just don’t go postal.
Call your REAL girlfriends. The fact that this girl did this to you is probably making you feel insecure about girl friendships. So, call your girls up! Call the ones you know are your true friends. They will support you more than you could have possibly imagined. They will assure you that they are your best friends and that you are loved.
- The relationship probably won’t last. What are the chances they are going to end up happily ever after? Especially if he is a fuck master like Mr. AJ and a silly snitching “bishhh” like Eno Igenosa – omo ale jatijati.
I don turn adviser, please o my own life too aint so together LOL. But sha I can still chip in some words cos I have been there, done that and sure know how it feels.
XOXO for the night, Shakiti Baby